It's been really hard keeping the blog updated with the computer in the shop for a month. So, while I am on, I will recap what's been going on...

I stopped the bcp and started Menopur and Follistim a few weeks ago. Recently, I have been injecting Ganirelix which is one of the easiest of the three to inject--no pain, no burning, no bruising, no swelling. I was a bit concerned because I wasn't off the pill as long as my previous two donations. Regardless what anyone tells you, I do think that makes a difference in how many follies I have for the donations. I had three ultrasounds, repeated blood work, and FDA required testing (second time). My inner elbows are bruised, I look like I am a heroine addict with the track marks to prove it. Acutally, I have the same marks on either side of my belly button--which makes for fun by the pool with puzzled looks from fellow pool dwellers. (Yes, that is a picture of my horribly swollen and bruised stomach for your viewing pleasure. The picture is a bit dark, but I have bruises speckling both sides of my bellybutton.) For those that have never shot up fertility meds or any kind of meds before, you too can look like a liposuction victim when you shoot up ;).

I have also been feeling extremely bloated and full (see exhibit A, photo of stomach where you see nothing but bloat), so walking around isn't the most comfortable thing, (I feel like a beached whale when I am by the pool) actually, just getting up to walk around the room is a bit uncomfortable. I feel like my vagina and everything in the vicinity is sore. TMI, probably, but hey, that's why you are reading this, so you know what its like for a donor. So there you have it, sore va-jay-jay = no fun but means the eggies are growing.

Unfortunately, my one of my fears came true. I am not producing as many eggs as my previous (successfully completed) donations. I feel like a disappointment to myself and to the IPs. It might have to do with the bcp or it could be because of the three times I drank prior to the meds, either way, I feel horrible. Granted, it's still a good number, between 10-15, but that's still less than what I would like to see for them. This whole giving up caffeine and drinking and taking care of myself is hard, but I really was trying. I just feel a bit down and like a failure. Ugh. I guess I will do the best I can until the retrieval and hope that the ones that I produce will be good enough. This is the downfall of an overachiever--I am just hard on myself. But I really wanted to see the IPs get the best possible chance they could have.

In the last few days I have traveled to the destination of the retrieval. I have been entertaining myself with friends from the area and movies from the dollar rental box at the grocery store. I tried to find the mall today, but had no luck, guess I will try again tomorrow. Must kill time somehow. I am eagerly awaiting the next few days until the retrieval. I just gave myself my Ganirelix, Follistim, and Menopur. Unfortunately, the Menopur gave me a little hard bump at the injection site. I think it might be an air bubble or just too much meds all at once. This is the first time I've gotten one of these, at least one this big... It's just below the skin--my friend who did a donation had this happen to her when she did her injections. I have an ice back on my stomach as I type this, hoping to minimize the bruising and swelling.

I heard from the doctor that there is a chance that the donation may be pushed back a few days if the follies aren't ready. Unfortunately, this means that I am going to have to explain to work why I am not back and also I would need someone to cover my job. I am hoping to find out as soon as possible and I am hoping for the earlier date. I really do need to get back to my own life, regardless of how much I want to help, selfish as that sounds. I am just starting to get antsy about this being done. I also don't know what to do about work if I need to request a few more days off. I am not sure the boss would appreciate this. So let's cross our fingers that I get this done sooner than later so that I don't have to deal with work or finding someone to cover for me. I can only imagine the nightmare that will be.

I find myself wondering where the IPs are and if we ever end up going to the same places, but just different times. I think maybe they think about that too since they know I am here. I assume they live the area, which they may not, I'll never know. I find myself thinking that maybe I've even walked by them on the streets or pulled up at a light right next to them. Is that crazy? I do hope they are excited and looking forward to the new possibilities that this donation could bring, since I know I am. I hope wherever they are, they are just as eager to get this donation underway.Wish me and the IPs luck! I think I may need it. Let's hope that a few more follies get big enough to measure and that we get the follie count up!

ETA: Just an FYI, I did get my period in the middle of the meds, but I guess it was ok. Now I am on Ganirelix, which is supposed to stop me from ovulating, just like Lupron but slightly different.