It didn't take.... I feel overwhelmingly sad for the IPs. But there isn't much more I can do, I know this. It's logic. But still. I feel horrible, almost like hearing a family member lost a baby.

I can't really dwell much on the lack of success of the third cycle--I am moving on to the fourth. Things are just starting so nothing too exciting has happened. So far just the same old stuff of vitamins and bcp. One ultrasound down and bloodwork. All is quiet in the neighborhood. I am second guessing if I should post any future self-inflicted/injection-related photos. I was actually really caught off guard the first time I saw that belly shot up on someone else's site. I am sure there are still PLENTY of bruises and swelling that I can photograph and post, but I am not really sure where I stand on seeing them on others' sites, not in a selfish way, but more in the invasion of privacy kind of way. Which is silly since I am posting my business on the world wide web...kind of says it all, doesn't it? I just think that sometimes, photos speak louder than any words that I could type here. I guess that's just something to review on a case by case basis. For those that really come onto this site to see what it's like for a donor, well, do you think I would be cheating you out of the full experience if I don't post photos? I guess in the back of my mind, I have to wonder if anyone can figure out it's me? Crazy right?

So, Couple D and I have just started the journey--I really hope they have a successful IVF round and get pregnant. I don't know how they can take it when they end up not getting pregnant. Actually, the other day when I was in for my ultrasound and blood, another patient was in the adjoining room. She must have gotten bad news cause she wailed and sobbed for a good 10 minutes...so loudly that my heart broke for her. I think that's the sound a mother makes when she loses a child. I hope whoever she is, she is able to pick up the pieces and move on to try again. My heart goes out to her. For those that come to my blog to find out if it's the money that drives us--no. If you had been there that morning...you would know it couldn't be about the money. It's about stopping that cry. It's about tears of joy instead of sadness and loss. I know it sounds silly, but I felt a loss when I was informed that Couple C did not get pregnant. A large part of me blamed myself. I wondered if I had done something wrong? Did I do everything I could? I guess in this thing that we do, it cannot always be win-win. But I really wish it could be.