Wow, I didn't realize that so many people have read my blog and used it for different things like articles and research about IVF and Egg Donors. I actually lost the access to my email and this blog until just now, so if you've emailed or commented and didn't get a response, I am sorry! I guess I never thought this blog would be anything more than a space for my donor ramblings.
To start off, it's been almost 16 years since my last post. After that cycle was called off, I decided to retire because I was in a new phase in my life. I started to see my now husband at the end of 2008. We got engaged 4 months later in the spring of 2009. He knew about my donations and was supportive but since we were engaged and had plans for children of our own in the future, I decided it was the right time to step away then.
Sometime in 2010, before we got married, an agency did reach out to see if I'd be willing to donate. Apparently, at that time the age for donating was raised and I was within the new range. But, since it was before our wedding, I did not move forward with it. I did still receive match offers until 2014, but I wasn't getting those emails so I didn't know until recently. Would I have done it? I guess we'll never know. We wed in 2010, today, we have three healthy children of our own. We never had an issue conceiving and I always got pregnant on "the first try" 😅, I know there are questions about future fertility and concerns for donors. In my case, it was never a factor.
Now that I am a middle aged Mom, sometimes I do wonder about the children that came from my donations. I believe the oldest one would be around 19/18 years old now. Like I previously mentioned, I didn't have access to my emails for a long time. At one point in 2017 I missed an email from one of my agencies asking if I'd have contact with one of my recipient families. Again, I didn't see it until last year (Mom life is not for the weak), but by then I guess it had been too long. I did reach out to the agency to let them know if that family was still open to contact, please reach back out to a better email. But I never heard anything... So my guess is they had moved on.
I still hope that the children that resulted in my donations are happy, healthy, and loved. I don't remember if I ever mentioned it but, I grew up in a difficult situation and I would hope that those kids never had to experience an ounce of what I did, just like I never want my kids to live through anything I did when I was a child. As a Mother now, I just can't imagine doing those things to my children or seeing my children suffer. And while the children conceived from my donations are not my children, I still would not wish for that on anyone.
Speaking of children, I have not yet disclose the donations to my kids yet. My plan will be to tell them when they are older and can better understand it and why I did it. My kids know that I believe in service and gratitude. In the years past, I've been dedicating more and more of my spare time into community service. One thing that I've grown to be grateful for as I've gotten older and had my own children was the idea that it takes a village. I had a village when I needed it most and I have spent the last handful of years really diving into acts of service-- often dragging my kids along with me. Some day, I will tell them about all this.
About two months ago I took a DNA test because I have been told all my life that I don't look like my family members and that I also don't look "full East Asian" or like an Asian from X country. Most Asian people that I meet tell me that I look like I'm "mixed". Even my Husband was saying that I must have something else in my genes for years. When the results came back, I found out I have the smallest amount of "something else" (4% as of today but that can change as the sample size grows) and I must say, I was a little surprised. Why bring this up? Well, when the test arrived, my Husband mentioned that maybe it wasn't a good idea because it might open a can of worms- meaning if the kids from the donations find me. I don't think that would be horrible. Especially if that child or the recipient families have health questions or why they look the way they do, etc. It's not like I'm hiding or hiding information. I still believe your parents are the ones that raised you, it's not determined by blood/DNA. I would be lying if I said I wasn't curious if they look like my children or me.
I'm going to end this update here. Who knows, I might come back to this when I have more to update. If you have questions about being an egg donor and want to ask questions, please feel free to reach out via the email above. Thanks for reading!
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