Monday, March 19, 2007

This whole donation process is never easy. It's one bump after another. Some are bigger than others.

On Tuesday, I had my retrieval. Once again, I had 16 healthy and matured ovum for the IPs. This time was a bit strange since the IF was at the hospital during part of the time that I was there. They had to hide me and I believe they hid him from my boyfriend (who was waiting for me). I did pretty good, got to leave at noon. Went home and just slept. That night, I thought I was feeling pretty good so I tried to go out to a movie, big mistake. I ended up throwing up and having to turn the car around and go home before we go to the theater. Wednesday I laid in the bed most of the day but since I had company coming over, I had to clean. I tried to rest as much as possible in between cleaning. Thursday came and I thought I was supergirl, a momentary lapse of judgement that left me crying on some stairs at a bar. Yes. I refused to take my vicodin and that's where it landed me, crying from the pain in front of my friends. Learned that lesson. Always take the pain meds.

All week I watched my stomach progressively get bigger. At one point, I looked like I was three/four months pregnant. Today, it's still a bit swollen, it'll stay that way until after my period. It's ok, it's not as bad as the first time. At least I can wear jeans/pants. Yay for pants! I felt exhausted and just overall, spent. I didn't get much rest either. Between friends and my boss calling all the time, I was pretty much running on empty. The only thing keeping me going was knowing that I did something good for someone and also helped myself at the same time. Little did I know, I was wrong about the latter.

Today is the 6th day after the retrieval. In my contract it states that I am to receive payment within seven days from the retrieval. I called to see what the hold up was and was given multiple stories about where the check was for my final payment. First off, if you are sending large sums of money wouldn't you send it with a way of tracking it? Um, apparently not. Also, wouldn't you send it to an address that the donor provided you instead of one that they told you was not secure? Um, no again. So here I am freaking out, trying to get someone to care and I basically get the run around. I was told it will probably show up sometime and when it does, it does. And that they send large sums all the time through regular mail and that even if someone else got it, they couldn't cash it. What? Really? Last time I checked a contract was signed and it's legally binding, which states I GET IT IN & DAYS!

I hate to say this but the way that the agencies treat their donors is abmissal. Is it so hard for them to see the value of the person and not just throw them away as soon as the donation is over? Do we have to remind them that without people like me, they wouldn't even have an agency or business for that matter? Why is it so hard for them to treat us with some respect? I am not a bill collecter calling to get money that is not mine. It is MY compensation that they lost and no one cares. I am so mad right now. I do not think I will work with this agency again in the future. People that are so dismissive of their donors really turn me off on wanting to do it again. Every agency has been hard to work with in some aspect or other. Granted, the first one that I worked with was actually really great. The only thing was the travel agency they used were pains. I really think that these agencies really need to wise up and realize that if they do not keep their end of the bargain, reprecussions will result. I called my lawyer. If I don't get the check tomorrow, there is hell to pay. I know it sounds mean, but I had a really hard time with this donation, it's not all that easy, and they are reaping the benefits yet they do not seem to feel the need to show us (donors) any appreciation. I am not one to take this lying down. Mondays really do suck.

4 comments:

Summer said...

It sounds like physically, this donation was not as hard on you as the last was, but it was still unpleasant. But what an ordeal you've had with this agency! I'm glad you have a lawyer on your side and aren't taking this lying down. This is definitely an agency I won't be working with as an IP if we go the anonymous donor path.

Meaghan Quilop said...

I am sorry you had such a terrible experience. I am currently researching for an article about the women who choose to become egg donors and I also work for a new agency in Beverly Hills.

I used to work for a different agency that had a difficult time remembering that donors are incredibly special women, not objects to be sold. When I left that agency I wanted nothing more to do with Egg Donation. About a year an a half later I was approached by this new agency to help them create a donor program. I believe I have helped to create the best donor program there is. It has been my reward to meet with amazing women and help them make the match happen.

If you would not mind. I would like to email some questions to you for my article. Nothing identitfying, just to get some thoughts from a donor who isn't affiliated with our agency. I am writing the article to show the world who these amazing donors are, why they choose to become donors and why they should be respected by the public.

You can visit our website and email me from there.

Be well and congratulations on your donation. I hope your fee finds you soon.

Rae said...

please don't assume everyone treats their donors badly. I would give my donor the world if I ever had the chance to meet her. The dreams you are giving, the gifts you are blessing us with.........they are beyond measure. You may feel as though you are being taken advantage of right now, and I'm sorry for that. As an IP............all I know is that you woman blow my mind. Words cannot thank you enough for the gifts you've given us.
I hope you get your compensation soon, and I'm so sorry it was so painful.
Hugs,
rae

m said...

As someone who is just beginning the process as an IP, I can't tell you how relieved I was to find your blog. After we had decided to use an anonymous donor and before we ever saw an egg donor profile, we had these constant questions in our minds - who donates? What woman would do this for someone they didn't know. It can't all be about the money, right?

When I read your entries I was even more convinced that we made the right choice. In my mind and in my heart, you represent the norm rather than the exception. Looking over profiles last Thursday, that was confirmed.

We selected our donor. She said yes. We are elated. And now the journey begins. Thank you so, so much for sharing your side of the story. I wish you the very best.