Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I went in for the blood draw on Saturday, and waited almost two hours for them to draw 3 vials of blood. The lab also misplaced my paperwork, so that was another fiasco all together. Luckily, it was done fast, hurt little, and no bruising. Now, I just have to wait for this Saturday to complete the Clomid Challenge.

I started the clomid on Monday. I didn't really notice anything, no real changes. But last night about 3 hours after I took the second dose of Clomid, I felt crampy. I did a workout tape at home and then I felt really sick. Don't know if that had anything to do with the Clomid. I read that it would be helpful to cut down on the intake of caffine, so I am doing my best, but really, today, I am dying for a big cup of coffee. Or a big glass of Dr. Pepper....ah, heaven in a can.

Didn't get much sleep last night. I did have weird baby dreams last night...that's another story. I wonder if I will ever be a good mother? Or if I will be as disoriented and forgetful as I was in the dream. My biggest hope is that my future children grow up knowing they were loved and that I always put their needs first. I hope to be that selfless someday. But right now, I am focused on myself, I guess that is what part of this whole journey is about.

I sometimes think that I would have like to have known who the intended parents were. Not because I would want to have contact with the child, but because I would like to know what kind of people they are. It's a shot in the dark for me and for them. They don't know me at all either. Just what they read on that profile. For all they know, I could be crazy or vice versa.

Just counting down the days, nothing to do but wait and see. Hopefully I don't have any problems with the Clomid Challenge and we move forward.

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