Tuesday, February 12, 2008

I took a bit of time off from donating and blogging. Things in my own life have been chaotic (at best) and borderline depressing. But, what doesn't kill you will make you stronger. So on to the post!

Since the last failed donation, I have received 5 calls about 5 different couples. Unfortunately, nothing has been set in stone. Just alot of people asking if I am available and when my blackout dates are, if any. I am starting to think that I may not get to do another donation because after the canceled one, I signed match agreements for two separate donations, only to hear nothing back from those couples. It's been a really frustrating road, these last few months. I know IPs often times worry that EDs will back out on them mid-cycle. But from my own experiences, it seems more common for the IPs to back out. I understand, they have more on the line, but what happens the to ED?

In my case, I have been bouncing around, waiting for another match. I worry that the next couple will also cancel or drop off the face of the Earth. Makes it really hard for me to put myself out there --- when I feel like I am getting jerked around. I worry that the IPs will end up with another RE that jerks them around and misinforms them. I worry that the meds will be wrong the next time too. I worry that the ultrasound tech won't see all the follies and count the wrong ones. At the end of the day, I still want to help. Maybe that's why I am still out there, just waiting. I have also been visiting many of the message boards and looking up prenatal vitamins and folic acid to take before and during my donation to better the quality of the ovums for my IPs. From this ED's perspective, having couples back out and disappear into the thin air, (4 couples thus far in the journey), it just makes me tired, worried, and frustrated. But I continue on. When the right match comes along again...it will be right from the beginning. So I have to have faith.

On a completely different side note--I wonder if anyone is still reading this blog? I don't post as often on here when I am not currently in a cycle. I think I may have lost a few readers. Sorry dear readers. I hope to have something to post about soon.

1 comment:

Summer said...

I didn't realize that donors can be just as frustrated with this process as IPs! As an IP, I am constantly worried that the ED will back out. In fact, tired, worried and frustrated are constant feelings I have had, too. I guess we all just have to hang on to the idea that in time, the right match will be made.

It's not easy, though.