Monday, May 05, 2008

Summer--Yup, it seems to be a normal thing. In the pass donations, I have also bruised. Have I bruised or swelled to this extent? I can't remember, honestly. I am thinking the answer would be yes. Not to worry, I am going to doctor's appointments everyday so far, no one has said anything about it being a bad thing. It's just not exactly an "attractive" thing ;). But you win some and you lose some. No big deal. I sent that picture to my boyfriend and he was very surprised. I told him he gets to hang around that bloated bruised mess this weekend....let's just say he was very --- excited.

Katy-- Feel free to link me, I have this blog to help others through the donation process as well as those that are on the receiving end. And if anyone else out there has linked me to their page, please let me know, I will link you on my page. Granted, my perspective may be different than yours but I do hope that whatever you take away from this blog is useful :) Nice to meet you and thanks for the comment.

I spent last night visiting donor egg chat boards. Some for the donors and some for the IPs. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to use one of the boards because it hates all of my email addresses. I guess you have to have an AOL account to post. It's a conspiracy because I just wanted to reply to a girl's questions about being a first time donor. If anyone knows of any other boards that I can participate in, let me know.

Looks like the retrieval might be towards the end of the week. I can't wait to lose the bloat and the overall feeling of fullness. I DO NOT look forward to the period that is sure to fall---it's always like a massacre (TMI, I know, but very true). I spent most of today shopping for retrieval-day pants. Yes, pants made for the day of. For those that have never gone though a donation, if you take away three points from this blog, it is this:

1. Once you decide you are going to donation, go off the pill for awhile, like I previously posted, the longer I am off the pill prior to getting back on to synchronize with the IP, the better my response. (DISCLAIMER: this is mainly for me, you may be different, you know your body best).

2. On the day of the retrieval and the next day, you want pants that give and stretch. You always want them to be as soft and comfortable as possible. Your stomach/abdomen will swell upon retrieval and usually, you will not be able to fit into your normal pants right away. I spent all day today, looking for such a pair of pants...FYI, Victoria's Secret lounge pants are the best!

3. ALWAYS, and I do mean, ALWAYS, take the pain killers. No matter what you think, the first 48 hours is painful when the painkillers wear off. Don't end up like me, crying on the stairs while out with friends (see March 2007).

I have spent all day shopping for pants and ended up buying some jeans and other stuff while I was out. I've lost almost 20lbs in the last few months so it was about time...the "poopy diaper" look is not in, no matter what anyone tells you. Surprising enough, I was able to get into the jeans even with the swelling.

I am very very tempted to buy an expensive pair of sunglasses as a present to myself for the donation. But I have yet to break down and do it. It's just alot of money. But I am still considering it, after all, it's alot of pain to go through and overall discomfort, I feel like I should get something nice for myself. Which brings me to this: for those IPs that write letters to your donor, I think that is the sweetest thing ever. In the past two completed donations I have participated in, I have never received said letter--not that I expect it. However, I have heard of people doing it and I think it's wonderful. I do wonder about the IPs and the possible children that resulted. It would have been nice to have that touch of warmth in what could really be a very cold and sterile procedure and process. In a way, it makes it worthwhile. For those of us that don't get the letter, its not like we hold a grudge, its just that we never truly feel your know what I mean? I have said before that I do this to help them and to help myself, I am not delusional about that. However, it's just nice to know that you are more than a follie count to someone else.

Well, that is it for now. Talk to you all tomorrow.


Summer said...

I'm glad to hear the clinic is keeping an eye on you.

As an IP, it seems strange to me that an IP wouldn't want to write a letter, but it could very well be that some clinics discourage that kind of thing. My clinic, for one, tried to make the whole process sterile and procedural, like you said, and it was because they believe that it was better for all parties that way.

PVED- MOM said...

Hi there - You know I'd love to give you a big fat hug! The clinic I went to encouraged a small gift and a card or letter.

It's a small way that we as recipient parents can thank you for a wonderful thing you are doing, and it also helps with closure.

The process isn't sterile there's a lot of emotion in it. I used to think it's just a cell we were receiving, but after having my son -- oh my God, it's so much more. The gift we receive is mind blowing, all because of women like yourselves:)

Katy said...

Thanks! I love your tips...I'm excited to buy myself a pair of comfy pants! I would love love LOVE to get a letter from the IP's, but I have a feeling I won't. Each time I visit the clinic I ask them something about the IP's. Simple non-identifying questions, but just something to hold on to.

midlife mommy said...

We used an "egg broker." Strange title, nice person, but once removed from the clinic. We are working with our second donor now, and both cycles were anonymous. I am more open to a relationship (even just a picture?), but my husband is not. Anyway, I thought about a thank you note, but we never did it. It just wasn't encouraged. This last time we visited the "broker," I asked if she would please, please, please thank our first donor for the gift of our daughter. She said she would; I wonder if she will.

I've asked after our donor this time as she was going through the cycle. It was her first time, and I remember what it's like, since we tried IVF with my eggs once -- was she doing OK, etc. They gave me brief answers, but they said that she was doing well. It's hard from this end too.

Please know that what you are doing is so wonderful it is hard to express in words. Our daughter is the most precious gift that we can imagine. And we are in the "telling" camp. She will know where she came from, with as much information as we can provide to her.