Friday, August 11, 2006

At the beginning of the week, I received a rather large package from the clinic. It was filled will paperwork. I guess part of this whole process is the paperwork, a really big and long part. I finally got to it around 9pm last night. Finished it this morning and mailed it. In another package from the clinic, I received my clomid to be taken on Day 5 of my cycle through day 9. I am supposed to call the clinic and the agency case manager on the first day of my period, with a blood test on Day 3 for the initial screening. Start the clomid, then another blood test on Day 10. It's a good thing that I am not afraid of needles or we would be in trouble. I just hope that I don't have giant welts/bruises from all the blood draw. The people at my work are pretty nosy and next you know, I will be known as the drug addict.

I am traveling to the clinic towards the end of September. It will be a marathon of traveling. I will be leaving my home at 3am, returning at midnight. The schedule was much better than the one they previously gave. I have my day job obligations to fulfill and the original schedule was not conducive to that at all. Luckily, I was able to get around that. I am excited to get the process moving along. There are days that I wish I didn't feel like I was living a double life, but in many ways, I am. It is not socially acceptable to announce that you are donating your eggs, at least that is the way I see it. So when I ask for days off work to go to appointments or travel, it is always an awkward situation. At this point, I have a feeling that my supervisor thinks I am terminally ill. (I had to request days off for the previous attempt at donation too)Poor guy, he is probably wondering if I am contagious.

Since I brought up the subject, I will tell you why I say "attempted" at donating. Back in March 2006, I was matched with a couple. I was really excited because they would have been my first IPs. There were complications to begin with and things kept changing on me. I am a creature of habit. I like to know what is going on and when. But I was never kept in the loop. Eventually, things started moving along. I went through the screening, had vials and vials of blood drawn, flew out to their clinic, sonograms, etc. In May, I flew to the IP's clinic, met their RE and everything seems fine. We did a sonogram and found that because I had been on the pill for so long that my ovaries were quite surpressed.
Now, I know that had I been kept in the loop, I should have been told to discontinue use prior to the meeting (this is information I gathered from the internet and other fertility clinics).
They sent me on my way, saying that another sonogram will be performed when I get my period. I got my period only 2 weeks later, because at that time, they had me discontinue BCP.

I don't know why people would assume that after 2 weeks, my ovaries would be 100% normal again. But apparently, I had 7 follies. The program dropped me because they usually want to see 8. I was 1 short. I had to call repeatedly to find out why, no one was telling me anything. I got a random email saying "thanks" and that was it. I eventually spoke to the ovum donation coordinator and she told me that she did not believe it would be a permanent thing for me, the low follie count, because I had just gotten off the pill and my age. But they would not use me because they didn't want to wait and that their clinic was more interested in a "sure thing" because numbers are what bring in patients. I understood, but was deeply disappointed. Even more so, when I found out that my agency dropped me. They were supposed to get back to me and never have. I don't know why a simple email cannot be replied. Or a phone call. But everyone has their way of doing things. I do feel like that particular agency, though I really thought they had a wonderful staff, was extremely un-organized. I always had to be the one calling and setting up my appointments and etc.

I also had another experience that was also very disappointing. I was matched through another agency and I was very happy about it. But I had work and other obligates to tend to first. I asked for an extention to sign the contract, I said I would get back to them that day. Yes, it was my fault that I got caught up at work and didn't fax it before I left. But I went online an hour later to find that the case manager decided to email me and tell me that she will not use me because she felt that was taking too long. And she lectured me about how it was wrong for me to be signed to more than one agency. I can understand this point of view, but at the same time, once I commit, I commit all the way. It shouldn't matter how many agencies I am signed with. I tell them immediately that I am unavailable the second I am entertaining an match. I felt really badly for the IPs because I don't know what was said to them as to why we didn't match. I had every intention of matching with them. But alas, it didn't work out.

So the journey has been long for me. It is nowhere near as difficult for the IPs. I feel badly for those that I weren't able to help. I hope that this cycle goes well and a pregnancy can result. I know that those that explore this route are often at the end of the road and they deserve a healthy and happy child.

We will end that here, I don't want to say anything bad about either agency, and hope I did not. It just didn't work out and I have moved on. I hope they did find someone that could work for them (the IPs). I also hope that the agencies helping the IPs find their match have their best interest at heart at all times.

1 comment:

Summer said...

Thanks for starting this blog. I am on the other side of your journey having been told that DE/IVF will probably be the only option for me to have a viable pregnancy.

I'm really glad to have come across your blog so I can learn about what it is like for a donor!